


Charity Reeks of Cheap Wine and Pity

by SpacebunsHarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Flashback, Harry Paints His Nails, I'm bad at tagging sorry, M/M, Sad, Songs, Thanksgiving, inspired by a song, louis has a tough life, then & now, young louis and harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:03:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5379629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacebunsHarry/pseuds/SpacebunsHarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looks up at the park. Stares at the place where he asked Harry to be his boyfriend and shared their first ‘I love you’s’. It's getting hard to breathe. He’s all alone. He feels relieved, but empty. He digs his beaten up shoe into the dirt. He really wants to stand up and scream. Let it all out for once, not just forget by drinking himself away. Maybe screaming will help him. So thats what he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charity Reeks of Cheap Wine and Pity

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was based on a song called Styrofoam Plates by Death Cab for Cutie, check them out they're great. Listen to the song please.
> 
> Title based of a lyric in the song. 
> 
> Here is Styrofoam Plates fic
> 
> Enjoy :)

Every day Louis thinks about how he ended up here. Maybe it was his father, or his mother. Or maybe even him. Who knows. They were such a happy family. It felt as if Louis was on cloud 9. No problem in the world. Smiles and sweet treats warmed Louis up. 

Then his father got stomach cancer, and everything fell apart. His father was growing weak fast. And It pained Louis to see his mother, Jay, in such sadness. Every night he would hear his mother cry in the little bathroom the hospital room provided. Louis wouldn’t let him self cry, he needed to be strong from her. Maybe at night he’d let himself cry when everyone was asleep. He’d plug his headphones into his ears shielding him from the ugly sobs that brought him pain. 

All Louis can remember is tears coming out of his mums eyes and stress lingering around her mind. So many bills to pay; but not enough time. Louis wanted to help badly, but how was a 12-year-old suppose to make cash when he spent most of his time at school and in the hospital. 

That first year without his father was rough. Men coming and going out of Jays and Louis life. School got more difficult, life was tough. 

Speaking of school, it was Louis' favorite place and most hated place. He only liked school cause of this boy with the most beautiful green eyes Louis has ever seen. Everyone in 8th grade thought Harry was weird because he painted his nails. Kids would make rude comments towards Harry, and Louis would be the only one standing up for him. No one hung out with either of them, for different reasons. That year Harry and him became best mates. 

He remembers their first year in high school. Louis asked why Harry painted his nails.

 ***

_“Why do you paint your nails Harry?” Louis’ high pitched 15-year-old voice asked._

_“I got tired of seeing men with the same plane nails. Not having them painted makes me feel basic.” Harry shrugged, he was scrapping the edges of his babyl blue nail._

_Louis looked at his ugly bitten nail. Maybe he doesn’t want to be basic either. “Hey, mind painting my nails Hazza?"_

_Harrys face lit up like Christmas tree, his red lips turning into a big grin, popping out his deep dimples. He jumped out if his bed and fetched his box of nail polish. “I though you’d never ask.” He beamed. The box read “Harry and Gemma”._

_“Pick a color.” Harry said opening the box. Louis looked at the colors, moving them around looking for the right color. He saw the perfect color he was looking for. He hesitantly picked it and handed it to Harry._

_“This one.”_

_“Louis this color fits you perfectly.”  Harry smiled._

_He lightly reached out to grab Louis’ skinny wrist. He started placing the cold liquid on to his nail. Louis looked up from his nails to see Harry. He looked so focus, it was precious. His light soft green eyes are now a forest green, tongue on the corner of his lip. Smacking his lips together once in a while, showing his dimples. Eyebrows pushed together from the concentration. Louis heart skipped a beat, a hot rich feeling bubbling in his stomach if someone where to turned gold into a drink and Louis got a sip from it. It was the most beautiful thing Louis has ever seen and felt. He felt hazy._

_“All done.” Harrys voice snaps Louis out of his trance._

_“That was quick pup.”  Louis looks down at his hands, and wow. Are those his hands? It can’t be. “I-I- are these my hands?” He glances at Harry._

_Harry crackles, “Yes silly.”_

_“Thank you pup. They’re almost as pretty as you.” Louis kisses Harry on the cheek. His face heats up, knowing he’s blushing._

_“No problem, Lou.” The flushed boy puts the box cap back where it belongs. Before Harry can stand up, Louis pulls the hems of his sleeve._

_“Wait,” He called out, “Can-can I paint your nails? Just to, you know, try it out.”_

_Harry smiles so big, Louis wonders if it could get stuck like that forever. They spent laughing at Louis' terrible nail panting skills. Every time Louis would paint Harrys skin instead of his nail, he’d give a small shriek or just hiss from the sudden cold. Louis would paint his skin on purpose, just so hear can hear the soothing noise from the boy._

_***_  

Louis weirdly remembers the sound of them. 

He blows into his ripped up mittens and pushes himself away from the cold brick wall from the bar he works at and continues to walk. He doesn’t exactly know where he’s going, but he knows where he’s should be at. He is just taking his time.  He takes out his earbuds and plays his playlist, any song comes on. Hey Jude by The Beatles is playing.

He finds himself (not surprised) at a park. More specifically, his and Harrys park. He sits down at the leafless willow tree. He really wants to spit at this stupid tree. Just because he can; and because it was once a tree that would glow. Even during fall. But now it’s just dead, it lost its fucking glow. At least Louis isn’t the only one. He rests his back towards the tree. He looks up at the sky, shinning holes peaking out in the dark sky. 

 

He feels the dirt next to his side. This tree is where he shared his first kiss with Harry. In the same exact spot he is sitting. He’d give anything just to feel his boys lips of his one last time. Its why he hates this tree so much. Too many precious moments that only brought pain. Fuck he hates this tree.

***

_“Harry its getting late. I should really get going.” Louis looks behind him if someone where following him. Harry hung on to his arm, Louis holds back a wince. He carefully unties Harry from his arm and holds his hand instead. Louis sends him a small smile. They’re leaning against a willow tree with long alive branches and leafs glowing a bright green, that would match Harrys eyes. The sun is a bright orange with a splash of yellow. The sky shooting streaks of pinks and reds, almost overpowering the light pastel blue, creating a pinch of purples. It was breath taking._

_“C’mon Lou, lets watch the sunset. Please.” Harry begged._

_Louis knew he should be going, he had a strict curfew from his step-father. Maybe he’ll stay. Just for a little while._

_“Okay. Just for you Haz.” He squeezes his hand._

_“Isn’t it nice out here innit.” Harry whispers._

_“Yeah I wish it was like this forever.” Louis truly means that._

_Sometimes Louis wonders how great it must be to be the sky. Having people look up at you and just admire your beauty. People looking up for guidance, when life is giving them a hard time. The moon and sun on your side, combining their beauty with yours. Stars poking out when its time for darkness to come. The moon taking over the suns job and shining down on us. Clear with the clouds slowly and swiftly moving. Dropping rain for those who cry when you do. Expressing mood that lets people know that they are not alone. Dropping unique pieces of microscopic snowflakes on peoples windows for them to found over. It must be beautiful being the sky._

_“How lucky is the sky.” Harry says if he where reading Louis' mind._

_But Louis feels luckier. He has Harry in his life. Now that is a win. He has the most beautiful boy right here next to him. He is luckier. The sky doesn’t have Harry yet. But Louis has him now._

_“I would like to think I’m luckier though.” Louis feels the heat in his neck._

_Harry raises a brow, “Oh really? Hmmm how?”_

_Oh god, Louis is really about to say this. “I have you,” He points at the sky, “The sky doesn’t.”  Why is he so damn sappy._

_Louis swears he saw Harrys pupils turn to a heart shape. Harrys eyes flicker down to his lips and back to his eyes. He can feel the atmosphere change, but it’s the nice kind._

_Harrys lips are like a magnet. Next thing you know Louis cold lips are on Harrys warm lips. The kiss is so soft and sweet. Their lip move nice and slow, Louis hands fall on Harrys waist and Harrys hands creep their way up to Louis’ neck. Its the kind of kiss you only see in sappy movies, but this is real, its true. This is where Louis belongs. Right here with Harry._

_Louis can feel himself blushing when they pull apart. It takes every strength in him not to touch his own  lips. They’re buzzing for Harry lips again._

_“Whoa.” Harry breathes out._

_Louis nods feeling impotent._

_“Louis, your eyes match the sky.” He says in a sweet whisper, giving a sweet smile. Louis beams at him giving him another soft kiss._

_And that’s the best complement Louis has ever received from anyone_.

***

 

Louis' heart aches. He needs a drink. A strong drink would do the trick. He closes his eyes and breathes in the cold air.

He looks to his left at the bushes that use the have pretty flowers. He gives a long sigh, everything in this park use to be so amazing. Endless. At least that’s how it felt with Harry. Everything he touched glowed. But eventually the glow faded. Louis would make so many flower crowns for Harry from that bush. Harry would always scowl him for it, claiming that he would ruin the bushes beauty. He would just smirk and place the flower crown on top of Harrys curly hair and call him a princess, Harry would shine like the sun when Louis would call him that.

He smiles at the faded memory. He skips a song on his ruined iPod and Paint it, Black by The Rolling Stones starts.

***

_“Louis where are we going?”  Harry giggles as they run towards their secret place. It was 1 week later since they shared their first kiss. Louis snuck out of his house not even thing about the consequences he’d face if his step-father found out. He threw rocks at Harry window, scared he’d throw it to hard and break it, he’d whisper Harrys name as if he could hear him._

_“To a magical place, darling.” Louis would respond with that. Once they were there Louis commanded for Harry to close his eyes, he did what was asked too. Good boy._

_Louis pushed the curtain from the entrance and entered his creation of a date._

_“You can open your eyes now, Harry.” Louis let go of his waist. He studied Harrys face, it was glowing from the christmas lights that were hung around and glowing of awe. His eyes laid on the table and back to Louis._

_“Do you like it Harry?” Louis bit his lip, anxiety bubbling through him._

_“Oh Louis, I love it. Thank you so much.” Harry said in such a fond voice and tackled Louis into a hug, turning his head to give Louis a passionate kiss._

_Louis pulls away and grabs Harrys hand, his nails are colored in green._

_“Would you go on a date with me?”_

_The boy standing in front of Louis smiles so bright. Nods quickly and gives Louis another kiss. They sat down and stared eating the spaghetti Louis mum cooked for them._

 

_“I love what you did with the place. Its so magical Louis. Best date ever.” Harry says in an endearing voice._

_“Its the only you’ve been to, you bloke.” He smiles at Harrys laugh._

_They quite down and Louis palms got sweaty. He took a deep breath._

_“Harry I mean when I say this. You’re the best thing that has ever happen to me. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be sitting here with you. I feel so safe when I’m with you. You’re like a drug,” Harry giggles at that,” No really, you make me forget about all bad things that have happen to me. I thank you for that.”_

_“Awe Louis that’s exactly how I feel. Just seeing you makes me so happy.”_

_“I want to ask you something. Would you be my boyfriend?”_

_Harry gives that amazing grin with his dimples, “About time you asked.” He chuckled and sat on Louis lap and gave him a long lasting kiss._

_“I love you, Louis.”_

_Louis eyes widened, he could have sworn he heard his heart saying its going to burst because of Harry._

_“I love you too Harry. So much.”_

*** 

Louis looks up at the park. He stares at the place where he asked Harry to be his boyfriend and shared their first ‘I love you’s’ Its getting hard to breathe. He’s all alone. He feels relieved, but sad. He digs his beaten up shoe into the dirt. He really wants to stand up and scream. Let it all out for once, not just forget by drinking himself away. Maybe screaming will help him. So that’s what he does. He screams so loud and holds it for so long that his lungs ache, begging for air. He screams “fuck” holding the ‘U’ the longest.  

He feels much better. He can feel his eyes getting watered and a breeze makes them cold. He stuffs his hands into his ripped pocket. Its time get away from here. He thinks he’s gonna barf any longer he stays here. He looks down at his iPod and sees 21 Guns by Green day on his screen. Lets see where his legs takes him.  

Oh shit. No no no. Why did he have to come here? He stares at his old house. Its beaten down, the walls are dirty from all the bad things that have happened in that house. Memories that where once good now are all bad. From his father having cancer to his abusive step-father. Now Louis really wants to burn this poisonous house down. 

 It was a year after his fathers death Jay married again. After a whole year of tears and late night jobs, she found a man who would help with bills and sorrow. Or that’s what she thought. Ryan, that piece of shit Louis calls a step-father. He says that name with such venom, if he where standing in front of Louis right now he’d kick the shit out him with no hesitation. Fucker deserves it after everything he’s done. 

When ever he came back from Harrys he’d always get a beating for staying out too late. Or that one time he found out about him and Harry one day when he saw Louis making out with Harry under the tree. Ryan would call Louis a fag and call him bitch, any bad thing you can think of, Louis has been called.  

One time Ryan gave it to him harder than usual, because Louis told him to not fucking touch his mum. Jay tried so hard to get them out of that house to the point they where living in a car for two weeks. But Ryan found them and threw them back to the house.  

It got so bad till the point where he’d get mad about everything. Jay dropped a glass cup and Louis took the blame, he ended up with 2 cigar burns and 5 blue bruises. That night he cried himself to sleep. 

It was a when Louis reached 17 he told Harry what was happening with him at home. Louis got two more bruises and decided Harry would make him better. 

***

_Louis was running as fast as his legs could take him. His eyesight is blurred from tears running down his eyes. He was running towards his boyfriends house, knowing he’d make everything better._

_He was throwing rocks at the boys window hoping he’d wake up. Louis kept checking behind him scared that Ryan would show up._

_Harrys head poked out of the window. “Louis is that you?”_

_“Yes. Please open the door.” He tried not make his voice sound weary but failed._

 

_Louis cuddled with Harry, his head resting on his chest. Harry running up and down Louis back. Louis just snuggles deeper into Harry and breathes in his cinnamon smell._

_“Sweet cheeks, what’s wrong?”_

_“I’m very tired Hazza.” Louis hiccuped_

_Harry just hugged Louis tighter._

_“My father died with I was 10…” Louis spent that whole night telling Harry everything that had happened to him. He answered all of Harrys questions._

_Harry hold Louis the whole night. Making sure when Louis woke up from nightmares he’d only see Louis. Harry whispered things that would make him fall asleep._

_“I’ll always be here to hold you Louis. Don’t you ever forget that. I love you so much.” Harry gave Louis a kiss on his relaxed forehead._

_It was a month and a half later when Louis and Jay finally left Ryan. They ran away from him and went to a police station and told everything on what had happen. They got all of their things and drove away from that house._

_They where living in a car for months. Both where trying to look for jobs, trying to save up money for a flat._

_Louis and his mum saved enough money to buy them self a cheap flat to live in. It was enough for them. Louis was finally at peace. They were free._

***

“He was a bastard in life thus a bastard in death.”  Louis hums, soft music playing in his earbuds. The song finishes and plays Hold My Hand by The Fray.

Louis feels something slipping down his cheeks. He roughly wipes the tear away. It’s getting late now. He should continue walking. 

 Many minutes later he finds himself standing in front of the church. Louis looks up at the mall building and enters.

It’s Thanksgiving and Louis' 21-year-old self is standing in line for his dinner at his local church. When he finishes grabbing his dinner, he tries to give a smile up to the nun. But he’s to tired and cold, so instead he whispers a soft thank you, hoping she’d heard him. 

*** 

_Louis celebrates his second and last Thanksgiving with Harry. Its been about two years of them dating. Louis falls more and more in love with Harry everyday. Louis’ 19 now, he couldn’t afford to go to college. He has to stay and help his mum. Harry on the other hand is 18._

_Jays with them too. They look like such a big and happy family. Louis gets the feeling of sweets and smiles he once felt when he was younger. He hasn’t had that feeling of family in such a long time. Everything was coming together._

_Harry and Louis spent that Thanksgiving in sweet moans. Worried they might be too loud._

_***_

He looks at all the tables set for the people to sit. It takes Louis a while to find his mum, he settles down next her, and all the other people around him. He smiles at his mother and gives her a tight hug stuffing his face into her shoulder. His mother is the strongest person Louis has ever meet. “I love you mum. I’m thankful for still having you.” Louis tears up when he sees his mum cry. They went through so much shit, but they’re still alive.

***

_Louis smiles at Harry taking his diploma. He is so proud of him. His boy graduated high school. When Louis gets the chance to see Harry again he jumps into his arms. Harry wraps his long arms around Louis and gives him a tight squeeze, he places a his lips on the older boy. He puts Louis down and he looks up at Harry. Louis much smaller than the younger boy next to him. Louis’ not taller than Harry anymore._

_They spent a little bit of the summer together. But everything moved so fast. Louis was stuck behind._

_“Louis, I got to university tomorrow.” Harry raspy voice rings in Louis ear. It has gotten much deeper from when they where in 8th grade. Louis known him for 5 years but dated him for two and half years. What happened to time?_

_“I don’t want you to go Hazza.” Louis frowns. He can’t let go. He still feels the same way when he first fell in love with Harry. His love for him grew so much more. It’s getting hard to breath._

_“I know Lou. I don’t want to leave you either. But there’s FaceTime, we can FaceTime everyday if you’d like.”_

_Louis really wants to cry. He bites his lip and just nods. He gives Harry a tight hug. They one more day together and it will not be wasted on sadness._

_Louis’ doing everything he can to not break down. He hasn’t cried in years. But he can’t help it, its just, he’s really scared things won’t work out._

_He gives weary breath in and out, oh god. He doesn’t know if he could do this._

_“It’s time Harry.” Louis whisper and looks down at his maroon color nails. Harry painted them yesterday. Harrys nails match the same baby blue he had on when he first painted Louis nails._

_Harrys red eyes meet Louis' empty ones. Harry shakily nods, he gives in. He starts bawling, “L-Louis I’m going to miss y-you so much.”_

_Louis shakes his head, “I’ll miss you more pup.”_

_“Lou, I made a promise to you, that day you told me about everything. And- and I attend to never break that promise. I will never let you go. Not in million years.”_

_Fuck that hit Louis in the spot. “You made me cry you bloke.” He tried to laugh._

_A car beeps, indicating its time for Harry to go. Louis shakes his head, “No no no. Not yet. Please.” He’s sobbing now. His heart is hurting so much._

_Harry embraces Louis in a tight hug._

_“I love you Louis, to the moon. I don’t attend to come back, cause it means that it’d just stop.” Harry is so sappy, it makes Louis cry even more._

_“I love you too Harry. I won’t ever let you go too.”_

_They pull away with red eyes and one more long passionate kiss. It felt like their first kiss._

_“When I see you again in December, I better get back that maroon nail polish, Styles.” Louis gives a weak smile, earning a small smile from his boy. 5 months left till he sees him in person again._

_Harry gives him one last kiss on the forehead and is off. Louis watches the van getting smaller and smaller till its gone. Just like that._

_Louis in fact never got that nail polish again. He hates that color now. Despise it._

_The first three weeks was working out just fine. FaceTime everyday the first week, the second week they would only FaceTime the weekends, and the third week they would FaceTime only once out of the whole week. Harry had too much work and homework, he had mates he hung out with, he didn’t have time to be behind a computer screen._

_Louis would always call, but no one would answer. Louis spent countless of times staring at a blank screen. He’d cry himself to sleep, missing Harrys warmth next to him. He misses painting Harrys nails or him paining Louis._

_He always wonders what happened?_

***

It’s been two years since he last saw Harry. He sighs at the smell of cheap whine coming from the old mens breath, it makes him remember about his drunk step-father. Let It Be by The Beatles starts to play, he raises the volume and blocks the world. He spent his whole Thanksgiving thinking about Harry. Again. Happy Thanksgiving. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you liked this fic. I am very proud of this fanfic. 
> 
> You can use your imagination on what happened to louis and harry or louis and his mum. 
> 
> My Twitter is @dorkharryx just a little promo :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading xx


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